Empathy on Clubhouse, Part 1:
How bringing PLAY into CLUBHOUSE can bring more EMPATHY to the world
As a sci-fi addict, I always thought the next evolutionary jump would be based on a technological breakthrough. However, 2020 showed a biological virus would push us to evolve the human mind and body. COVID-19 has forced us to search for solidarity and explore a deeper emotional intelligence all while keeping socially distanced. I believe empathy is the core of our human operating system; we are now in a place and time where it is more necessary to evolve our empathy than ever before.
Once the pandemic hit and with it, the loneliness, I began working on a project called Togetherland: a virtual space to practice empathy through social play allowing participants to discover deeper layers of themselves. It mimicked the real life experience of finding friendships serendipitously, but online. This play space was an initiative created to inspire people suffering from the effects of social distancing.
I further developed this concept by working with the Co-reality collective to create immersive experiences online and facilitate digital intimacy.
After producing more than ten online parties we were asked to contribute to the reframing of the Burning man playa and turn it into a multiverse of holding emotional space for others. We sought to democratize Black Rock City and brought the concept of the “Burn Home” into our real home.
All of the above experiments were produced for a video sharing platform. While those initiatives were met with some success, I increasingly developed Zoom fatigue and despite my best efforts to stay social, my social muscles continued to weaken without access to real-life human connection.
Then, boom! It all changed when I joined Clubhouse in October.
What is Clubhouse?
Clubhouse is an audible only app where people communicate solely through the use of their voice. Think of it as an AOL chat room without the visual text where people speak in real-time and the only sound heard is the human voice. It cancels all visual distractions allowing you to simply exist without the pressure to alter your physical appearance. You can just be.
Social Play Club and experimentation with empathy on Clubhouse
I have been exploring Virtual Play for a while now. I am part of a play collective working with companies on their Humensto: a remote corporate post-covid re-strategy development process we call the Play Odessey. With my consulting agency Wonderland Immersive Design, I developed team building digital workshops based on play with corporations all over the world. With Yossi Vardi’s Conferences, I’ve explored virtual networking rooms that enhance human connections through the practice of play.
When Clubhouse launched, I thought it would be the perfect space to explore the power of play in a synchronized audio medium. This is when my friend Kyle Kaminsky and I created the Social Play Club specifically for Clubhouse.
Why social play on Clubhouse? When it comes to scaling empathy, the exchange of emotions and perspectives is as important as sharing opinions and intellect.
Most rooms on Clubhouse present a title, which is a shared intention for the room such as, “Branding and strategy for small to midsize tech startups” or “Leading across difference: how to listen to the other side.” The moderators of the room then start a debate or have an intellectual conversation about the specified room title topic. Unfortunately, there are very few rooms exploring the concept of play. The practice of play presents an opportunity to explore leaving ego and intellect aside in order to live in one another’s “shoes” while simultaneously creating a safe space to be yourself and access your creativity.
Play can revitalize the art of conversation
Play is a great way to restructure virtual rules of engagement. The theorist Johan Huizinga, in his book Homo Ludens, explores play as a form of creating a framework for the chaotic world we live in. He describes how children play in order to create a sense of the world around them. What if we used play to make sense of the virtual world that is Clubhouse?
Social media has broken our ability to converse authentically and vulnerably in real-time. With play we can resurrect it. By practicing and participating in role-playing games, we can grow our emotional intelligence and empathy by putting ourselves in the “shoes” of others.
Here are some examples of the games I have used on Clubhouse.
Examples of games played in the Social Play Club
- AMA with your mother — An ask me anything with our mothers — we invite participants to change their avatar to a picture of their mother and ask and answer all questions as if they were her, from her perspective. We also call this game “Date my mother”. This allows everyone in the room to learn more about the real people playing their mothers, in addition to challenging people to ask and answer questions in someone else’s shoes. It can help us think more deeply about other’s perspectives and can provide revealing insight into our relationships with our mothers. Some similar games of embodying family members but with different people are:
- Tea Time With Granny — Everyone in the space uploads a picture of their grandmother as their avatar, makes themselves a hot cup of tea (or alcohol depending on their grandmother’s personality!), and the room becomes a wisdom powwow of grandmothers from all over the world.
- Don’t date my ex’s — Take the perspective of your ex and see what happens!
- Who’s your bestie — Let being your best friend fill you with smiles, appreciation, and a floodgate of memories.
- Allow me to reintroduce my (younger)self — A throwback to your childhood self, all the adorable little kid photos filling up the room, connecting with your inner child.
- Broken objects support group — Participants find a broken object in their home, upload it as their avatar picture, and converse with one another as these broken objects to commiserate on why they were never fixed.
- Paint me like Picasso — All participants come onto the stage with a picture of a white wall as their avatar. One person looks at a mirror in their home and describes to the room the way they see their faces (Ex. I have super curly blonde hair, childlike wonder in my eyes, a very oval face etc etc.) while all other people in the room draw their interpretation of this description. You don’t need to be an artist to participate — all interpretations are encouraged :)
- You are what you eat — Upload a picture of your favorite food dish to your avatar, become the voice of that food, and talk about why you are the best food to eat and your origin story of the home you frequent.
- Ipod Shuffle — connect through music by sharing songs from your life to fit certain verbal prompts given by the facilitators such as “What song would you rock out to on your high school dance floor,” or “What song reminds you of your first kiss?” etc etc.
The Results and Learnings from Social Play Club
Finding your virtual BFF
Think of the Social Play Club as an emotional ice breaker room on Clubhouse, where the opportunity to explore true friendships can unfold. Through the games and activities described above and many others, we hope you feel safe expressing your vulnerability, silliness, and inner-child.
Once you move past the urge to gain followers and be recognized on Clubhouse, you soon realize the social rooms with 6–10 people are where you can find the deepest connection. The Social Play Room can be an example of one of these rooms.
Social Play Club has allowed myself and others to begin strengthening and activating our social muscles again. Through our practice , we explore the opportunity to be a friendship generator where we can truly open up to one another authentically in a safe space.
The space can help shift perspectives, increase empathy, and for some, create transformational experiences. Here are some anecdotal examples:
Tea Time with Granny: In this space we had a participant feel so connected to the experience of other grandmothers and their relationships with their grandchildren, it inspired her to work on her own relationship with her grandmother after not speaking for more than 20 years.
Allow me to introduce my (younger)self: We’ve had several people talk about feeling more connected to their children and recognize the need to connect to the child-like state of play and curiosity they embodied as children to improve mental health in their adult life. They were inspired to incorporate their own ways of play off the app into their daily lives.
Paint me like Picasso: One participant described this exercise as monumental because he didn’t realize the negative judgement he felt about his physical appearance — after seeing everyone’s playful and beautiful drawings he was able to more deeply examine his relationship to ego and felt so much more love and empathy for himself.
Broken Object Support Group
One room was filled with lampshades, and refrigerators, picture frames, etc. The lamp shade became best friends with the night light while the dirty laundry found a special connection with the broken iron that was never used. Each session is completely different as we become different objects each session. There were so many laughs when everyone in the room became an object from the bathroom and it created a breeding ground for creativity. This space can allow us to enter a flow state, release ourselves from the expectations of the outside world, and truly just laugh and play.
Friendships: The inception of several friendships started in our space — some people have found their “clubhouse crew” in the Social Play Club and haven’t looked back :)
In thesis, take a break from yourself today and play. In a time of so much solitude, it can be incredibly refreshing to be someone or something else for a few minutes or a few hours. Social Play Club can be utilized as a social mood swinger; that moment of respite after a bad workday, an argument with a family member or friend, or a feeling of isolation and depression.
Recreation in isolation is broken. It was still a broken system when society was open. As kids, playgrounds were our social lubricants, but once we grew up, bars and clubs became our new playground where we would often 🤮 the next morning. Come test out one session with the Social Play Club and we will try to give you a better result with no hangover :)
Come play with me and Kyle Kaminsky (Co-founder of PLAY) in the Social Play Club!
Follow us on Clubhouse: @SocialPlayClub @michaelronen and @kylebkaminsky
If you want to bring more play to your corporate team or virtual conference visit Wonderland Social to schedule a call!
